That’s the real secret, learning how to stop attracting anything from the level of the ego, and opening up instead to just enjoying more and more of what IS! Remember the ego always feels empty and in need of fulfillment. Like the hungry ghosts in the Buddhist tradition (who have pin hole mouths, tube like necks, and giant bellies), the ego constantly feels like it “can’t get no satisfaction.” And, the ego tends to be absolutely certain that it alone knows what it wants and has every right to demand what it needs. (Note: I talk about this in more detail in my book Beyond the Secret).
So, a couple of things need to happen to help the ego to change. First, as I mention in my book, we need to embrace uncertainty (Susan Jeffers — who endorsed my Beyond the Secret book — wrote a great book called Embracing Uncertainty that is well worth the read). The ego benefits by surrendering to Spirit and allowing Spirit to reveal to the ego what is best for it, instead of the ego telling Spirit what it believes it should receive!
Second, we need to shift our motive for wanting anything — and, I mean anything — to a focus on contribution instead of acquisition! In my growing use of the law of attraction I am working on this myself. The mantra, “Who does it serve?” becomes very important and relates to the Holy Grail quest I speak about in my book.
And finally, as I said earlier we need to shift our focus to just enjoying more of what IS. This helps us live a life of depth so we can really get all the juice and joy of out the moment, instead of living in a place of just skimming the surface of life. Now here’s another secret — you already know how to enjoy the moment. As a child you were probably a natural at it. I remember one day when my son was three years old. We were on a walk and suddenly he discovered a tree with a lot of small pebbles surrounding it. Totally mesmorized he sat down in the middle of the pile and with utter amazement picked up a pebble, looked at it with awe, set it down, picked up another pebble, looked at it with awe, on and on for a full twenty minutes! (It would have gone on a lot longer but I was the one who couldn’t fully enjoy all his bliss and insisted that we leave).
Later, as I reflected on that day I couldn’t help but consider how much we miss out on as we get older and lose our capacity to really enjoy what is right in front of us. Imagine going back to a time when you could be so hugely entertained by a pile of rocks! Recently, I was visiting a wonderful spot with a grassy park right on the ocean. Nearby was a water fountain and I watched a small boy who was staring at the water coming out of the fountain as if that was the most amazing thing he had ever seen in his life. Finally, his dad took notice and let the boy try the fountain out. It was like he was on a ride from heaven. Disneyland wouldn’t have come close to measuring up. Again I thought to myself, “What would it be like to enjoy life so much, that so many common place things we take for granted were once again a source of true bliss and delight?”
In other words, what would it be like to fully enjoy more of what IS, instead of always feeling like no matter what we have we are missing out and need to attract something more? The joy of life comes from deepening our life experience. Yes, appreciation is important, but the word appreciation means “to add value” to something. How do we add value to our lives if we constantly choose to skim the surface and then say, “That was good. Now on to the next car, relationship, meal, hedonistic experience,” without having fully experienced, digested, valued, and appreciated what we already have?
So, learn to appreciate more fully what is right there in front of you! Learn to get more joy and juice out of the moment. Start living a life of depth, not breadth. And, when you do wish to attract anything, let it be for the good of others, not just yourself. These are a few ways I know to attract “things” in a way that will truly benefit you and the world.