If There is No-thing to Attract, How The Heck Do I Attract Any-Thing?

That’s the real secret, learning how to stop attracting anything from the level of the ego, and opening up instead to just enjoying more and more of what IS!  Remember the ego always feels empty and in need of fulfillment.  Like the hungry ghosts in the Buddhist tradition (who have pin hole mouths, tube like necks, and giant bellies), the ego constantly feels like it “can’t get no satisfaction.”  And, the ego tends to be absolutely certain that it alone knows what it wants and has every right to demand what it needs.  (Note: I talk about this in more detail in my book Beyond the Secret). 

So, a couple of things need to happen to help the ego to change.  First, as I mention in my book, we need to embrace uncertainty (Susan Jeffers — who endorsed my Beyond the Secret book — wrote a great book called Embracing Uncertainty that is well worth the read).  The ego benefits by surrendering to Spirit and allowing Spirit to reveal to the ego what is best for it, instead of the ego telling Spirit what it believes it should receive! 

Second, we need to shift our motive for wanting anything — and, I mean anything — to a focus on contribution instead of acquisition!  In my growing use of the law of attraction I am working on this myself.  The mantra, “Who does it serve?” becomes very important and relates to the Holy Grail quest I speak about in my book.   

And finally, as I said earlier we need to shift our focus to just enjoying more of what IS.  This helps us live a life of depth so we can really get all the juice and joy of out the moment, instead of living in a place of just skimming the surface of life.  Now here’s another secret — you already know how to enjoy the moment.  As a child you were probably a natural at it.  I remember one day when my son was three years old.  We were on a walk and suddenly he discovered a tree with a lot of small pebbles surrounding it.  Totally mesmorized he sat down in the middle of the pile and with utter amazement picked up a pebble, looked at it with awe, set it down, picked up another pebble, looked at it with awe, on and on for a full twenty minutes!  (It would have gone on a lot longer but I was the one who couldn’t fully enjoy all his bliss and insisted that we leave).

Later, as I reflected on that day I couldn’t help but consider how much we miss out on as we get older and lose our capacity to really enjoy what is right in front of us.  Imagine going back to a time when you could be so hugely entertained by a pile of rocks!  Recently, I was visiting a wonderful spot with a grassy park right on the ocean.  Nearby was a water fountain and I watched a small boy who was staring at the water coming out of the fountain as if that was the most amazing thing he had ever seen in his life.  Finally, his dad took notice and let the boy try the fountain out.  It was like he was on a ride from heaven.  Disneyland wouldn’t have come close to measuring up.  Again I thought to myself, “What would it be like to enjoy life so much, that so many common place things we take for granted were once again a source of true bliss and delight?”

In other words, what would it be like to fully enjoy more of what IS, instead of always feeling like no matter what we have we are missing out and need to attract something more?  The joy of life comes from deepening our life experience.  Yes, appreciation is important, but the word appreciation means “to add value” to something.  How do we add value to our lives if we constantly choose to skim the surface and then say, “That was good.  Now on to the next car, relationship, meal, hedonistic experience,” without having fully experienced, digested, valued, and appreciated what we already have?   

So, learn to appreciate more fully what is right there in front of you!  Learn to get more joy and juice out of the moment.  Start living a life of depth, not breadth.  And, when you do wish to attract anything, let it be for the good of others, not just yourself.  These are a few ways I know to attract “things” in a way that will truly benefit you and the world.

The Law of Attraction and the 11th Hour Film

In Beyond the Secret I emphasize that I agree with that “You” manifest your reality.  But, who is the “you” doing the attracting and at what level of consciousness is it operating?  My life passion is to help people make that shift in consciousness from an ego based approach (and use of the Law of Attraction) to a spiritual approach.  I mention in the book the work of Al Gore and the LiveEarth.org project to help bring attention to the fact that unlike what The Secret book emphasizes we can no longer survive a philosophy that acts as if everyone is entitled to consume as much as they want to live a happy life.

This weekend another film is being released called the 11th Hour that speaks once again to the fundamental and immediate need for us to shift our consciousness and our use of the Law of Attraction.  As I say in Beyond the Secret, the law of attraction is neutral.  It can be used in both a positive and negative way.  NOW is the time to wake up and as I express with passion in the last chapter of my book to shift our consciousness so as the 11th Hour trailer says we can be the generation to finally change the world! 

Want to see the 11th Hour?  Visit http://wip.warnerbros.com/11thhour/ for details.  You can also learn what we need to attract NOW to avert this impending serious crisis.

From the heart,

Dr. Lisa Love 

Because You are No-Thing, There is Nothing to Attract!

Perhaps the most radical statement I can make is the one that asserts in truth the law of attraction is a complete illusion and in the purest sense doesn’t even exist!  How can a law of attraction teacher say such a thing?  As my book Beyond the Secret shares the greatest secret you can discover has nothing to do with the law of attraction.  Rather it has to do with the secret of Spirit.  And, what the secret of Spirit reveals to you is that as Spirit you are already everything and everyone.  Which means you already have and are everything — so there is nothing to attract!  Which is why in my book I replace the steps of Ask, Believe, and Receive with Surrender, Align, and Contribute.

How can it be that you already have everything so there is nothing to attract?  Especially if your life appears to be filled with a mountain of lack, what I am saying here can seem totally ridiculous.  You may be able to point to a lot of things you believe you need to ask for, believe in, and receive.  You can easily tell yourself I lack the money I need, the car I want, the relationship that will make me happy, so forth and so on.

Yes, to live in this world you need a few things.  To stay alive you need oxygen, some water, and food now and then (it is anticipated that most people could still survive even if they had not eaten in ten days if they still could breath and had some minimal water).  Apart from this you mainly need the will to live.  Most people derive that will to live not because they believe they have something they need to go and get, but because they have something they still need to go out and do, or contribute.

Remember the “you” that comes from a place of lack is quite simply your ego.  It is that part of you that believes it is separate from Spirit (or God) and everyone and everything around you.  Because “you” lack, you need.  And, since the ego is hugely afraid of loss, it tends to fill up the empty hole of lack within by demanding to be filled up with a lot of outer stuff.   That’s what makes the law of attraction such a powerful tool for the ego.  It gives the ego an endless reason to keep experiencing lack, so it can use the law of attraction to keep asking what it believes God needs to keep giving it so it can keep receiving.  This creates a strange sort of confused thinking.  You believe you are “one with god”, but instead of letting that lead you to a place of fullness allowing you to feel at one with everything and everyone, it makes you feel separate, empty and full of lack!  How mixed up is that?  And, how does this distortion happen?  Because it is the ego that is doing the asking, believing, and receiving.  In fact, the really big ego even goes so far as to insist that it has the right to demand whatever it wants from Spirit and that Spirit should give the ego anything it asks for!  As Beyond the Secret reveals this is also known as narcissim and is about as far as you can get from any authentic spiritual teaching or practice. 

“But,” I can almost hear you gasping and sputtering, “it is so obvious in my life that I lack things, and therefore I need things — like health, money, relationships, cars, trips, etc.” As my book reveals, I agree!  From the standpoint of my ego time and again it makes sense to me that I have the things that my ego believes it should have.  Yet, over and over again when I surrender to what is, when I align with Spirit and let it guide me, lots of things my ego believes it should have turn out to be precisely the things that keep me from experiencing true at-one-ment with Spirit, which is the real source of joy, bliss, and inner peace.

In fact, an exercise that I practice on a regular basis (that was cut from my book due to length) is to assert to myself when my ego gets into its lack phase that as Spirit I am the no-thing.  Because I am no-thing, no amount of “things” can truly bring fulfillment.  As Spirit since I am also everything, I already have it all anyway, so what the heck am I complaining about?  The actual technique I use is quite long and perhaps at another point in time I will blog it here.  All I can say is when I am done with this process of emptying out my need to attract anything, I enter into a state of tremendous fulfillment.  I tap into a source of so much light, love, and power that at times it feels like the atoms of my body are going to explode.  No relationship, no fancy sports car, no home on the beach has ever, EVER, given me a fraction of the same inner fulfillment as these small tastes of Spirit give me when I am blessed to enter into them.  It has helped me to understand why some of the great mystics like Ramakrishna are constantly blissing out and so overwhelmed with joy!  It is like all their hormones are saturating the body with the powerful chemical reactions of deep connectedness with all that already is!  And, they are not attracting it.  They are just surrendering to it.  They are just open to receiving what already is.

OK!  Digressing from this spiritual practice and lofty place, I understand.  The ego is a really tricky thing.  Mine does a great number on me all the time of trying to convince me that I lack this and need that.  I stumble through life tripping into focusing on what I want and feeling all sad that I don’t have it and wanting to demand I get it as well.  The shift from Ask, Believe, and Receive to Surrender, Align, and Contribute is not always easy.  Like you I am a work in progress.  But, I hope together we can bridge the gap between using the law of attraction in an egotistical versus a spiritual way, and bring greater peace, understanding, joy, and love into all of our lives as we do.    

Spiritual Power

What is Spirtual Power?  In the simplest terms it is the ability to know we are Spirit and we are Love!  As we access that Love we attract more power to experience love, give love, and receive love in our lives.   

Spiritual Power is also energy. The more dynamic energy one possesses, the more potential power one can store and direct. When we tap into power we come alive. Spiritually, we stand connected with our Source veiled by the out-picturing of the Cosmos. Personally, we act confident, capable of achieving whatever we set out to do. Mentally, our minds are sharp, clear, precise, and insightful. Emotionally, we are calm, in control, and optimistic. Physically, we are filled with vitality and may even experience chemical changes aided by an adrenaline rush. In short, power feels good!

In our quest for life, each of us has the responsibility to learn to appropriately and rightly wield power. We begin to accomplish this first via the process of identification. Each of us in truth is a child of the Cosmos. The atoms and molecules in our bodies are made out of the same “star stuff” which creates galaxies and planets. When we can wake up each and every day assured of our Divine Heritage, we can face life like the Gods and Goddesses we are! Confidence is a word which means in essence “faith in oneself and one’s powers, without implying conceit.” Confident people trust in their abilities, because internally they know who they are! Regardless of our genetic makeup, family heritage, or environmental living circumstances, each of us can embrace a healthy and constructive identity by the simple act of embracing this inner Divinity. Just as we view people in power differently based upon their personal successes, we can learn to view ourselves differently based upon our inner attitude and point of identification.

Though potent in its proclamation, the simple statement of our Spiritual Heritage is not enough. Beyond belief, we must come to KNOW who we are. We can only know this in the fiery furnace of life experience, where acts of spiritual courage, integrity, and daring must be performed. One simple technique to help us make this transition, is that of “As If.” We begin with our statement of identity and act from there. Example: As a Child of the Universe, as a son or daughter of the Divine, as a follower of my particular spiritual teacher, as a loving and worthwhile human being, how should I act in this situation? Steadily and carefully we wait for an intuitive answer. Once the answer comes, we act upon it. To do this requires for many a leap of faith. As we make our identification, as we act from it, we must do so AS IF it WERE TRUE! No haphazard, half-witted, half-hearted attempt will do. We must enter into this with all of our Being. We must use faith to help us leap into the Reality of the experience. Only our fervent desire will get us there. And when it does? That faith, transformed into Reality, will bring us to wherever we wish to go. Such is the beauty of empowerment.

So easily said! What then prevents us from having this be consistently true in our lives? The answer can be found partially in two distinct directions. First, whenever we make our identification with the Divine within us, we must do it with the proper understanding and intention. A drop of water may be one with the Ocean, but it is NOT the full embodiment of the ocean around it. In our behavior towards ourselves and others, humility needs to be ever present. Through recognition of Divinity in everything around us, we honor our interdependence with others and seek to act harmoniously and constructively with all who we meet. In knowing a larger cycle of time exists in which great actions are unfolded, we stand steady with patience and persistence in relation to our visions avoiding discouragement at all costs. In this way we work cooperatively with the forces around us, conserving our energy over time.

Second, whenever we seek to act from a point of empowerment, or Spiritual Identification, we need to recognize the need to build our “spiritual muscles.” If we are to express the power within us appropriately, we need intelligence and skill. We start by welcoming challenges as opportunities to learn from life experiences. Next, in striving to master challenges each and every day, we authentically enhance our power to act. Finally, in following through upon our intentions and being true to our word, we enhance our sense of integrity and our personal reputations. Thus, a power base is built based upon the well earned trust of others. Life requests of us to use this power effectively by ennobling ourselves and others. In return, we ennoble life by living dynamically, powerfully, and compassionately. Empower one another now!

Psychic Powers Rubbish?

Psychic Disbelief

Sometimes I think the nuts really have all rolled out to California.  Unfortunately, your site is only another proof that they are rolling back to the East as well.  Even here in Memphis we are being invaded by all kinds of rubbish.  For example, lately I have had a few friends yap on about seeking out psychics for therapy.  They quote popular psychics who have best-selling books on the market.  Isn’t this all just a figment of people’s imagination?  Can you really justify any of this as being real?

Mark
Memphis, TN

Dear Mark,

As someone who formerly lived on the East coast I can empathize with your basic worry that California and its “New Age” views may be spilling into more traditional belief systems around the country.  When I was a teenager, we too often gave a skeptic glance towards the “Golden State.”  When a minister of ours began to pick up on some New Age ideas he was given his walking papers and exiled from the church.  

Perhaps it is just my personality, but his exile did more to stir up my curiosity than anything else.  Maybe this was because I found him to be one of the most loving and caring individuals I had ever met.  He possessed an open mind and an open heart that left its mark on me.  It also led me into a curious phase where I dutifully read the Bible every night along with my Billy Graham study lessons, and at the same time read books on New Age ideas including the notion of reincarnation. 

During this phase, this same curiosity led me to my first encounter with a psychic, found in a small town in southern Michigan.  She was able to tell me things about my life and family that were very accurate.  When I went home and told my father (a natural skeptic even to this day), he simply didn’t believe my story.  He would rather believe I was a liar, than consider that psychic powers might exist.     

Over the years, I have met a number of psychics.  I have even had my own series of psychic episodes.  Not surprising then, that when I rolled out to California myself for graduate school, I would eventually be attracted to a few parapsychological societies, and even attend an accredited college where some of the professors were known world-wide for their attempts to do serious research on paranormal and psychic phenomenon.   

I could tell you more about their research, but since you seem a natural skeptic, it may be that your mind is made up against psychism and no amount of proof will persuade you otherwise.  I could give you a list of books and societies you could explore to test for yourself the validity of some psychic claims, but I am not sure it would do any good.  

Instead of going this route, I will tell you something my own experiences have taught me.  Ironically, the learning comes from a Biblical source, since psychic phenomena was well known and commonly believed in in ancient times.  The source is from Corinthians and reads as follows. 

1 Corinthians Chapter 13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not Love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not Love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not Love, it profiteth me nothing. 

Love suffereth long, and is kind; 
Love envieth not; 
Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 
Doth not behave itself unseemly, 
Seeketh not her own, 
Is not easily provoked, 
Thinketh no evil; 
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

 Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, Love, these three; but the greatest of these is Love.
1 Corinthians 13

In short, psychic powers do exist, but one of the greatest powers of the psyche (or soul) is its power to love, to heal, and to extend a loving hand to others. In fact, there are some teachings I have found that bluntly state that these “higher” psychic powers”, are much more spiritually advanced and difficult to attain to, than the “lower psychic powers” of speaking in tongues, reading auras, having telepathic experiences, etc.  In my own life experience, this has been true.  I have met many psychics, some using their powers to inflate their own sense of self-importance, others genuinely trying to serve and help others with their gifts.  But I have met very few truly loving and compassionate spiritual people.  These are the people who through the very power of a glance or a smile can heal a broken heart, instead of report accurately to me that I might have one.  

As for California?  Yes, it has its share of nuts.  Almonds, peanuts, there is quite a variety here.  When I first moved here the diversity of beliefs and cultures was a bit overwhelming.  But, in the past twenty some years of living here, I have found plenty of open minds and open hearts.  Much like the minister I met in Michigan long ago, there is a desire to move past judgment, or even tolerance, in the confrontation of the many differences that exist in this great state.  There is a genuine attempt to understand and come to care for each other.  This “psychic” power of the heart of most California people needs no justification.  It speaks for itself.    

From the heart,

Lisa

Channeling or Inspiration?

Dear Dr. Lisa,

I consider myself a creative person.  Part of my interests are singing, storytelling, talking, channeling to groups.  I’ve known for a past decade that I need to get more involved in these activities. It’s not the “New Age” typical channeling of a spirit guide, I’m not sure what it is.  Anyway, I need to follow it, but I’m not sure if I need some sort of spiritual protection when I do it.  This is because the flow of energy at times leaves me feeling overwhelmed and shakey. Maybe it is just the adrenals kicking in to compensate for my anxiety, but I also feel there is much more to it.  What are your impressions? 

Tammy
St. Paul, MN  USA

Dear Tammy,

You have brought up an interesting question, namely “What is channeling?”  First and foremost, channeling is putting one’s mind into a state of receptivity, so one can be open to creative insight and ideas.  Where these ideas come from is a matter of some debate.  Some people consider that they come from a “creative muse.”  In ancient and even modern times, this creative muse was often thought to be a real person, existing in the spiritual realms.  In some spiritual traditions, these ideas come from “the raincloud of knowable things.” In simpler terms, they come from a general source on etheric (intangible) levels.  Anyone who can tune into the right “frequency” or “channel” where the inspiration lies, can have access to it.  The ability to tune into more rarified levels, brings about those terrific ideas that revolutionalize the thinking of human kind. 

In our enlightened era this creative muse is often thought to come from one’s own sub-conscious.  In essence, one is really channeling one’s self, and only believing the source of inspiration is out there some where.  For those who believe in reincarnation, there is even the idea that one is channeling a past life.  This is an updated version of “you” channeling “you”, only the you is really in a distant past. 

Unless one wants to be a materialist and a skeptic (who reduces everything down to “its all in your head”, or brain), channeling is most likely a mixture of one’s own sub-conscious and some real ability to tap into, or be overshadowed by, inspirational levels and beings.  

Beyond this discussion, which could get rather scientific and stodgy if pursued too long, I hear the deeper issue in your question, is how you deal with your own creative power.  What you are asking is what every great singer, author, public speaker, artist, musician, asks at some time or another.  Namely, how do we surrender to the creative flow, so inspiration can come, while keeping our egos (with all the fears, criticisms, and anxieties) out of the way?  

My suspicion is when your adrenals kick up (related to the fight and flight mechanism), you are really struggling with the overwhelming sense of what it could be like to really be seen as a powerful, creative, and vibrant human being.  Any creative act, especially one like singing, that leaves our inner core exposed to others, has an element of risk and danger in it.  When it is our creative and vital self we let out, and other reject, it can be one of the most painful experiences.  Over time, if we have experienced this often, we can close down our creative juices altogether.

Fortunately, I have been lucky enough to work in recent years with some terrific creative people who teach others healthy ways to witness and hold the creative expression of others.  What is absolutely essential is the ability to keep the judgmental and critical mind out of the way.  This was really brought home to me   in a class where we all did some work with clay.  When we were finished we went around the “art gallery” to view each other’s sculptures.  While we were observing one piece of clay, my critical mind came in and silently judged another person’s  art.  To my surprise and embarrassment, when the person shared what her intention was in creating the piece, I realized it was exactly right!  It was what it was, an expression of the individual in its purest form.  I have never forgotten that realization.

What I would wish for you then, is the ability to get to some great workshops with people who would really help you work beyond the inner critic and fear.  They would not be intent on judging or analyzing your “channeled” flow, they would hold it in their hearts, letting it be perfectly what it already is.  Overtime, with practice in being in a loving creative presence, you would build the courage it takes to allow your inner nature to be channeled into manifestation.  Then, in a sense it won’t matter what the source is, the end result will be the same.  You, will be more in touch with YOU, and more ready to be the magnificent Being you are. 

From the heart,

Lisa

Are You Using Your Ego to Attract?

The major premise of Beyond the Secret is built on the fact that yes, we do attract according to whatever vibrational state we are in.  So, are you vibrating at the level of the ego and attracting what you want from that place, or are you attracting from the level of your soul, which will help you really acquire what you need from Spirit to live a truly joyous life?

Naturally, I’m especially curious and always seeking to improve my understanding of how to discern between the vibrational levels of ego and what I call the soul.  So, today I was delighted to discover a new book that will soon be released called egonomics: What Makes Ego Our Greatest Asset (or Most Expensive Liability) by David Marcum and Steven Smith.  As I share in Beyond the Secret all of us have an ego that part of ourselves that appears separate and distinct from others.  Although Spirit ultimately wants us to see the illusory nature of the ego and seeks to negate our experience of ego altogether as we become aware of the reality of our essential oneness, ego plays its part in the manifest world.  So, how do distinquish between a healthy (or soul-infused ego) and an unhealthy (selfish) one?  In Beyond the Secret I mention one way is to spot how ego constantly attempts to play the “see me” game.  This “see me” game is especially apparent in the new book by Marcum and Smith, because that is really what they refer to, the unhealthy ways ego defends, protects, projects, isolates, insolates, etc. to maintain its sense of importance and chronic self-reference. 

Their book also reveals as Beyond the Secret shares the dangers of too much positive thinking!   This is similar to what my book shares in the Spirit and Others chapter when I speak about how an overly positive attitude can actually cause you to distort reality.  Because you don’t see things clearly, you are incapable of assessing, responding, and attracting clearly.  How much better to attract to yourself the soul quality of clear perception, or seeing, first before indulging too much in conscious use of the law of attraction!   

Want to learn more about the egonomics book?  Check out the authors blog at http://www.egonomicsbook.com/

Miles Levin Dies at Age 18 – An Example of Spiritual Attraction!

In Beyond the Secret I challenge the assumption often put forward in Law of Attraction books that we only get disease due to our negative thoughts and feelings.  I share in my book how there are many reasons we may get a disease, how disease can even become an act of service to others.  I state that in my perfect world no one would ever suffer from an illness.  But, if my world can’t be as perfect as I would like, then I am so hugely grateful for people like Miles Levin who know how to make what I call “soul stories” out of whatever happens to them in life! 

Here is a quote from Miles… …your biological vitality means very little – having a beating heart and operational lungs does not define you. Your effect on the world around you does. Once you fulfill that service, your shift is done. You’re off work and it’s time to go home. (July 4, 2006)

Learn more about this incredible young man and how he impacted millions in a positive way through the graceful and spiritual way he handled his cancer.  What an example of “spiritual attraction” where someone is determined to attract spiritual values and be of service!  And what a reminder that attracting spiritual abundance over material abundance is what we are really here for.

Start learning about Miles story here… Miles Levin Blog

Founder of Rational Emotive Therapy Dies

Many people who are familiar with the law of attraction have never heard of Dr. Albert Ellis.  Yet, in many ways he is a force behind the “feel good” teachings emphasized in many law of attraction books.  And, after 93 years of tremendous service, Dr. Ellis passed away July 24, 2007.

Why should you know about Dr. Ellis?  Because his pioneering work of Rational Emotive Therapy developed primarily in the 1950’s laid the ground work for many of the techniques later adapted by those who follow law of attraction teachings, whether those law of attraction teachers are aware of his work or not.

How did I become aware of Dr. Ellis?  During my the early 1980’s while being trained in my first Master’s in Marriage, Family, Therapy I was keenly interested in Dr. Ellis’s approach.  What is Rational Emotive Therapy?  To state it simply, it helps you challenge the beliefs underlying your emotional states, and helps you create more rational (or functional/ healthy) beliefs that can help you stay in a more positive mood!  As the founder of Cognitive Therapy, which has been a foundational method I have used with many clients, I can’t say enough about my admiration for the tremendous contribution of this incredible man.  What a service he offered.  And what a joy to have been trained so many years ago in his approach!  Dr. Ellis wrote a number of books but here are two of my favorites that fit a low with my philosophy put forward in Beyond the Secret . 

How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything
Albert Ellis (Note: This book is in agreement with statements I make in Beyond the Secret that there are no good and bad feelings and that it is important to feel all your feelings, but to be at choice regarding how you emote them.  Read Chapter One of this book on Amazon.com to get an idea why Dr. Ellis’s work developed over fifty years ago is still in my opinion so lucid and worthwhile compared to many books on the market now).

You might also want to check out The Myth of Self-Esteem.  Here is a summary of that book.  Book Description: Many psychologists preach the importance of self-esteem, but on closer analysis the meaning of self-esteem often amounts to little more than basing our sense of self-worth on the success of our achievements or relationships. In this insightful exploration of true self-acceptance, Albert Ellis criticizes the traditional definition of self-esteem, calling it conditional self-acceptance—i.e., we feel good about ourselves only on condition that we fulfill certain ambitions and personal desires. Ellis proposes instead Unconditional Self-Acceptance (U.S.A.)—learning to appreciate our unique personalities no matter what good or bad actions we do or how successful our relationships turn out to be. This more realistic approach, Ellis points out, helps us to avoid the common pitfall of failing to live up to our (often unrealistic) expectations and the consequent feelings of self-denigration, low esteem, and depression, which impede our ability to tackle life’s challenges.

Ellis provides a historical review of the concepts of self-esteem and self-acceptance, examining the thinking of great religious teachers, philosophers, and psychologists—including Lao Tsu, Jesus, Spinoza, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Buber, Heidegger, Sartre, Tillich, D.T. Suzuki, the Dalai Lama, Carl Rogers, and Nathaniel Branden, among others. He then provides exercises for training oneself to change self-defeating habits to the healthy, positive approach of self-acceptance. These include specific thinking techniques as well as emotive and behavioral exercises. He concludes by stressing that unconditional self-acceptance is the basis for establishing healthy relationships with others, through Unconditional Other-Acceptance (UOA) and a total philosophy of life anchored in Unconditional Life-Acceptance (ULA).

Beyond the Secret Red Sunset Book Image

I’m so excited about my new book cover, which was a collaborative effort with my publisher Hampton Roads.  On the cover of my boo the red seal on The Secret book cover has broken open and what has been revealed is not the secret of the law of attraction, but the “real” secret which is the secret of Spirit!  Here the red seal has turned into a red sunset, a significant image to me as it represents a peak mystical episode in my life. 

As those who read my book will discover, I have known about the law of attraction since the mid 1980’s!  That is over twenty years of attempting to understand this law and relate it to other laws discussed in my book such as the law of repulse, the law of service, and the law of sacrifice.  Yet, despite knowledge of the law of attraction in the mid 1990’s my life was not exactly in alignment with what I was trying to attract to myself. 

Spirit had a attracted to me a different kind of life, one that would increasingly lead me to a richer level of spiritual abundance.  Still, my ego (my small self) had a hard time accepting what Spirit was wanting me to do and got into quite a funk.  Attempting to cope, I did what I often was inclined to do, I took a long drive, this one along one of the more beautiful drives in the world — the Central California Coast. 

Arriving in the Big Sur region I pulled my car over to the side of the road and went into meditation to reflect on the state of my life.  As I meditated I allowed myself to be comforted by the mountains behind me, the ocean before me, and before too long the sun started to set splashing beautiful red hues around it.  Surrounded by that profound beauty it seemed as if an inner voice spoke to me inviting me to more closely examine my life.

Focusing in the present moment I was instructed to really notice the objects of beauty around me — mountains, ocean, sun, and emerging stars.  Though these would ultimatey not last forever, compared to other aspects of my life (people and a long list of stuff), they represented far more permanence than people or any material possessions ever would.  “What would it be like,” the voice inquired of me, “if you learned to rely less on stuff and people for your well being, and deepened your connection to these more lasting symbols of Spirit — mountains, ocean, the stars and sun?” 

The voice next encouraged me to close my eyes and pretend that everything and everyone I had ever wanted, or had ever attracted, into my life was suddenly gone.  “Consider,” the voice asked of me, “If all outer forms are gone, what remains? Deepen your connection to Spirit.  See if you can let everything else fade away.” 

I then opened my eyes and appreciated even more the necessity of becoming unattached to impermanent things (like stuff), and more attached to relatively more permanent things (like Spirit and nature).  I repeated this open and closed eye stance several times wiping away all desire to attract, or become overly attached, to the people and stuff of this world, while at the same time becoming more attached, or attracted to, spiritual principles and values. 

In time, my breathing coordinated with the opening and closing of my eyes.  As I did this, a profound stillness and peace descended on me, bringing about a deep state of inner contentment.  What freedom in becoming desire-less!  What freedom in knowing that I am already Spirit and therefore already have everything I essentially need!  What a gift to feel truly happy and at peace, not because I attracted a soul mate, or acquired some stuff, but because I was remembering who I really am as Spirit — at-one with God!

Though at times I still sink into “forgetfulness” of my real identity as Spirit, it helps to remind myself of this real identity with visual triggers like sunsets, stars overhead, and space at night.   Likewise, when you see the red sunset on the cover of my new Beyond the Secret book, I hope you experience an invitation to desire to attract spiritual abundance in your life! It really is the means of attracting lasting joy and peace.

Note: Amazon.com shows previous cover.  Book will be delivered with red sunset cover as shown on this site.